My faith is too big for fear. I’ve seen you move the mountains, I have only to glance behind to see all you’ve done for me. I’ve tasted and seen that you are good and your love for me endures, never lessens and is gloriously strong. The gripping darkness around has all become a flood of sweet light. Yet I have lost my tongue and my ears are deaf from the noise of you. I cannot taste the succulence of your gentle breath, your melodic and lovely whispers calling me to stand and fight are falling on a deaf ear which longs to hear and come alive.
My soul sings a happy song at the mouth of the caves of complacency where inside my name has been scribbled time and time again. My cup is overflowing but I’m drowning in its excess. Oh to return to the mountain side where I fell, where all was darkness and weakness, where you saw me and came down.
Oh to return to those bloody hills where I was rescued mightily by you, for here, left in this silence where I want for nothing but you, I perish slowly. My mind is filled with thoughts of you, I understand and wrap my mind around your greatness, you are too comprehensible here. Oh for the moments when all was despair as the last glimmer of hope slowly drifted out of sight. When I couldn’t see, couldn’t understand. For then the thick darkness became the canvas upon which you wrote all your love with pure bright light which cut away all my doubts and fears one by one, so powerful and clear.
Then you were a strong and warm embrace to fall heavily into but now I can hardly feel your hands. Here in the beauteous open valleys, with their gentle breezes of light and peace, I loose all sense of direction and urgency. Where should I go? What should I do? Sweet delicacies surround me on every tree but my toneless tongue enjoys none of them. I swallow hard, I fall to my knees, I want to weep but I am so happy, so free, so full of faith, so missing my Savior. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I fought to get here, I longed for this rest, yet here I am, overwhelmed by your goodness, but where are you? If this be heaven, if peace is life, I’d rather die ‘cause I don’t want it, just give me my Jesus, because nothing means anything without his close and intimate presence in my life.